By Rachel Loe, May 13, 2024

In honor of Mother’s Day, which was celebrated yesterday, I thought I might attempt to tackle a tough topic. The modern debate of women being torn between heading into the concrete jungle of the working world or working in their own homes. The idea of the “trad wife” is shaping a lot of cultural debate both in church circles as well as in secular ones. Yes, women have traditionally been the homemakers and the primary caregivers for the family. But what does this mean for those who are in the workplace? Should all women resign and dedicate their lives solely to the wonderful pursuit of making their homes a place of nurture and refuge for their husbands and children? A moment of transparency here: I am not a wife or a mother. I can only speak to what I have read in scripture and that which has been modeled for me in my own childhood. 

My mother was a physician by trade. I say “was” because she retired a few years ago and is absolutely loving it. I was raised in a household with two incomes, and both parents entirely present as much as possible. I, however, never recognized how blessed I was. I never recognized that my mom cut her practice hours so she could pick me and my brother up after school every day. I never saw the long hours she spent planning Thanksgiving dinners, after-school activities, or carpool schedules after she had already spent countless hours studying for the boards or comforting a patient to whom she had just given life-altering news. My mom was and is the strongest woman I know. What makes her most impressive is her unwavering faith in the Lord and her desire to obey the God she loves in all things. 

Proverbs 31 is commonly used in weddings or in sermons to describe what a woman should be. In the context of this debate, we should recognize both parts, the woman’s ability to take care of her family both in physical comforts and in emotional ones. The mother of King Lemuel, in describing the type of woman her son should seek out, does not say, “Find a boss babe who makes six figures.” Nor does she say, “Find a woman who will stay at home and not have a job outside of the house.” She highlights traits of the woman’s work ethic and care for those around her. 

“She does [her husband] good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (v. 12 ESV). “She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness” (v. 27). As we see in Lydia (Acts 16), if she works in the business world, her profits are the Lord’s, and she uses them according to His will. If the woman is a stay-at-home mom, then like Martha and Mary (Luke 10), the work of their hands is to glorify God. 

This woman’s crowning jewel is her faith in God. “A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (v.30). The Moral of the story is God made women to be homemakers, which does not have to mean they cannot work in the home and pursue a “career.”  Women are uniquely gifted in hospitality and care for others. So, in this debate, the most important thing to remember is that whether a woman’s work involves staying home with her littles or providing for them in a 9-5 career, she glorifies God in her decision and strives to always care for others as God does. 

“Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (v. 28-30)